Mentor a Child
Mentoring a child can be one of the most rewarding experiences of your life. Bridge Builders for Kids matches Christian adult mentors to children of prisoners typically between the ages of 5 and 10 who have a parent in prison. We match girls with women and boys with men. Our service area currently includes the Twin Cities and Rochester areas of Minnesota.
Being a mentor is about building a caring, supportive friendship with a young person. Mentors are friends, supporters and encouragers. They are not counselors, social workers or replacement parents; they are supplemental support to the family system.
Being a mentor is about building a caring, supportive friendship with a young person. Mentors are friends, supporters and encouragers. They are not counselors, social workers or replacement parents; they are supplemental support to the family system.
"Be careful, you may just get more out of this than your mentee..."
- Trent, a Bridge Builders for Kids mentor
- Trent, a Bridge Builders for Kids mentor
Like
all relationships, each match is unique. Below are answers to some
commonly asked questions, but these will vary. Once you are matched,
our support staff will be able to help you work through any questions
regarding your specific match. Feel free to contact us with any additional questions.
Being a mentor is about building a caring, supportive friendship with a young person. Mentors are friends, supporters and encouragers. They are not counselors, social workers or replacement parents; they are supplemental support to the family system.
To mentor with Bridge Builders for Kids, mentors must meet the following requirements:
- Must be a committed Christian (What does it mean to be a committed Christian?)
- Agree with our Statement of Faith
- Be a regular church attender
- Be at least 18 years old
- Have their own transportation
- Pass a national criminal background check
- Enjoy kids
What does the mentor need to commit to?
Like all relationships, every mentoring match is unique, but each mentor commits to the following:
Like all relationships, every mentoring match is unique, but each mentor commits to the following:
- Attending an orientation/training session
- Meeting with their mentee a few hours per week for at least one year
- Communicating regularly with support staff and the child's parent
- Attending quarterly mentor huddles
The
focus of mentoring is the relationship, not the activities. Matches
may toss a football, work on homework, make a meal or attend church
together. Making the child a part of your everyday life is a great way
to model various skills and values. Let them experience dinner with
your family, or learn about healthy choices on a grocery shopping
trip. Mentors are also encouraged to expose kids to new experiences
such as volunteering or exploring different places of employment.
Bridge Builders for Kids staff are available to help provide
opportunities and activities.
Where do mentors meet with their mentee?
Typically, unless other arrangements are made, mentors will pick up kids at their home and go out in the community to spend time together. This may be at a park, the basketball court or the library.
Typically, unless other arrangements are made, mentors will pick up kids at their home and go out in the community to spend time together. This may be at a park, the basketball court or the library.
Do I need special skills to be a mentor?
While there are no special skills required for mentoring, there are three qualities that make a successful mentor:
While there are no special skills required for mentoring, there are three qualities that make a successful mentor:
- Flexibility - Anyone who knows kids knows that flexibility is vital! Also, many families who have an incarcerated member are dealing with a variety of challenges, and flexibility with plans and expectations is often necessary.
- Teachablility - Mentoring isn't just a learning experience for kids. Mentors who are willing have the opportunity to learn from the child and their family.
- Commitment - Like all relationships, there will be bumps in the road. Kids need someone who is willing to walk with them through these challenging times and remain loyal to them. Many of the kids in our program have had adults abandon them. Research shows that mentoring relationships that end prematurely can be more damaging than if the child never had a mentor at all. For this reason, commitment is extremely important.
Can I mentor as a couple or a family?
Yes, however it is important that there is a primary relationship between the child and the adult of the same gender. We actually encourage mentors to make their spouses or families a part of the match.
Yes, however it is important that there is a primary relationship between the child and the adult of the same gender. We actually encourage mentors to make their spouses or families a part of the match.
What happens when the incarcerated parent is released?
If the incarcerated parent is released from prison and is a part of the child's life, Bridge Builders' staff will work with the mentor and family to come up with a situation with which everyone feels comfortable. This can be a stressful time for kids and so, when possible, we encourage the mentor to maintain the relationship and be a support to them. With proper communication, the mentoring relationship can continue with the support of the released parent.
If the incarcerated parent is released from prison and is a part of the child's life, Bridge Builders' staff will work with the mentor and family to come up with a situation with which everyone feels comfortable. This can be a stressful time for kids and so, when possible, we encourage the mentor to maintain the relationship and be a support to them. With proper communication, the mentoring relationship can continue with the support of the released parent.
What if I encounter problems?
Your support staff person is always available to help you work through any issues that come up. They will also be checking in with you regularly to make sure that things are going as smoothly as possible.
Your support staff person is always available to help you work through any issues that come up. They will also be checking in with you regularly to make sure that things are going as smoothly as possible.
What if I can't meet for some reason?
You will commit to a few hours per week, but we understand that things sometimes come up. We ask that you communicate with the child and caregiver as soon as you know you won't be able to meet on a certain week. When unable to meet, we encourage the mentor to connect to the child by calling or writing.
You will commit to a few hours per week, but we understand that things sometimes come up. We ask that you communicate with the child and caregiver as soon as you know you won't be able to meet on a certain week. When unable to meet, we encourage the mentor to connect to the child by calling or writing.
Many people know from their
own life experiences that true growth and learning happens best in the
context of close relationships, and that a friend can truly change a
life. Research shows that kids who are mentored are:
- 46% less likely to start using illegal drugs
- 52% less likely to skip a day of school
- 35% less likely to become pregnant or cause a pregnancy
- 86% more likely to attend college
- more trusting of their parents and guardians
Bridge Builders for Kids receives referrals from a variety of sources such as churches, schools, and by word of mouth. However, we've found the most effective means for identifying children of prisoners is through the incarcerated parents themselves. We collaborate with the MN Department of Corrections to present to the offenders what is available to their children. The reponse has been overwhelming. In addition, we partner with churches that participate in Angel Tree.